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Guten Tag - Part 1


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Name: d_tox_ed
Home: Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India
About Me: I'm the Miltonian equivalent of what Shaw would've called a fustian magniloquent belligerent imbecile. (Fustian Magniloquenta Imbecelio Belligerentus). In other words, I'm the utopian loudmouthed idiot. A new breed altogether...but fun to have around.
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Guten Tag - Part 1

    Friday, March 03, 2006  

Great. Chaos has nothing to do and decides it's gonna be fun to tag me. Not that I'm the kind of guy who's easy to get hold of to do anything at all. Ask my PM and you'll know what I'm talkin about. Anyway, since I've been tagged and tagged again, and then called all kinds of names from a protozoa to a bird brained foul mouthed bull dog, for not acknowledging those tags, I thought I'd reply to the tags once and for all.

Starting in reverse order, the last tagger was Chaos, who wants to know 8 different points in my perfect lover. Boy....You sure are asking the wrong question of the wrong person. You know how guys think don't you? I mean all guys have a one track mind....dot dot dot for those who're not alert enough to get the pun when I eventually get to it. Well, so you should've probably rephrased the tag to be "8 different lovers with the perfect points" Anyway, since you didn't, and the tag remains the same, I guess I'll answer what you asked.

1. Satyamev Jayate (the truth always wins) :: Yep. I want someone who's absolutely honest with me. Downright dead on honest. Someone who can tell me to the face that I look like Brad Pitt. Somebody who's not afraid to tell me, "Aji sunte ho ji, I flirted with the pados waale ghar ka ladka" and then get promptly kicked out. That's point number one.

2. I figured If I write this point, half the readers here are gonna puke and think "God, this guy!!! Gross!!!" So in the interest of public safety and the cleanliness of your rooms, offices and browsing centres, I'll avoid penning this point altogether.

3. Total Fida (absolutely smitten) :: Oh yes, she should be totally obsessed with me. So much so, that when she sees Lipstick marks all around my shirt collar when I get back from office, she should be like....haay ni main mar jaawaan, Did you have an accident, there's red grease marks all over your shirt. Get the point? Yep, that's three.

4. Aaj Ki Nari (Today's woman) :: She should be the kind of woman who comes and tells me "Listen honey, I think I am going to work. Do you have any objections to my working?" And my reply will be , "Not at all sugar. That's great. You go work and earn. I'll resign and watch TV at home." May god bless everyone with a lover like that. Man that's bliss, and that's also point 4.

5. Should look like this :: Click and pay to view. Click here Only $3.50 a click. Trust me it's worth it. I accept paypal too. Free for girls who look like this. You deserve it.

6. Environment conscious (It means the same thing in English Dumbo) :: Technically speaking, I don't care two hoots about the environment. But the only girls whom I've seen who do, are ones who've got filthy rich parents. Daddy has a BMW kind. So if you're the nature loving kind, My sixth point loves your nature...I mean, loves nature.

7. Jo chaaho ho jaaye (That's the Coca Cola ad) :: Man you gotta admire the shape of the bottle, the curves, the lines. A girl with a figure like that, can hit the other 7 points on my list for a 6 and I'd still give her a perfect 10...I mean 8. But that's point 7.

8. Trust me when I say, had you asked me for 8 ways to get the one you love, I'd have given you a much better (and possibly more useful) answer. Fact of the matter is, the one you love makes these 8 points absolutely baseless, and useful only when seen in the context of the blog. A much better way to do it would be to first find the perfect one, and then base your 8 points on him/her. Personally speaking, I feel, there is no way to love imperfectly. Otherwise it isn't love at all. What says you eh?

Guten Tag - Part 2 coming soon.

   [ POSTED BY d_tox_ed @ 4:02 PM ] [ 6 comments ]