I'm suffering from a really bad cold right now. If there's one thing I hate more than being down in bed with fever, it's suffering from a cold. Right now I feel worse than a hot water bottle stuffed in a choke hold under the armpits of Yokozuna.

It's at instances like this that I run to the person who brought me up with so much laad and pyaar. My mother dearest.

Me: Hello ma, this is me.
Ma: Hello beta. Why do you sound so different?
Me: I have a cold ma. Sniff. Bad one. Can't even get out of bed.
Ma: Take care of yourself. Have some soup. Nothing to worry about.
Me: Is it serious ma? Will I get pneumonia? I have this funny pain in the neck and chest. Could it be a mumps and TB combo? I feel funny in the head too.
Ma: Relax. It's nothing. It's just a cold. You'll be fine. Just keep yourself warm. Wear a sweater or something.
Me: ... :-(...

Thus reassured that I wasn't dying, I then proceeded to tell everyone I knew, had ever known, who lived around, whose number was on my phonebook, that I was suffering from a cold. It's one of the two things I like telling everyone around me. The other is my birthday.

F1: Hi druggie. Wassup?
Me: Hi man. I've got a cold. A real bad one....
F1: Aww man. So you won't be going out right? Give me your bike for the day then.
Me: .... :-(... $$%#$#@!!!!!!!

Boy, with friends like these, who needs enemies. I desperately needed some cheer and happiness around these parts. I decided to call in sick. I don't do that too often, so I figured it'd be a cake walk. Especially with my throat like a frog croaking for a mate.

Me: Hello Boss
Boss: Hello. What happened? You sound different.
Me: Boss I've got a bad bad cold. Barely able to talk.
Boss: Oh, that's bad. Thank god you don't have a fever or you wouldn't have been able to come to office today. Anyway, take care. Catch you later, kinda busy now.
Me: .... :-( ... @#$@#%^^$%!!!!!!! ! (*$##$%Y(&$%#!!!!!!!!! :-( :-(

Next time I'm calling in dead!

   [ POSTED BY d_tox_ed @ 3:33 PM ] [ 5 comments ]